Intricacies within potentiality

Today I woke up to a friend's instagram stories sharing inspiring people he follows, doing cool things. I ended up following most of them because I found them to be unique and inspiring examples of human potentiality. Ideals of how I want to be. I love the internet for these reasons- instant access into people's lives and to use it to the advantage of networking with these people, listening to their story, and becoming inspired by it reflecting what you are also capable of. I find it to be a healthy hack into your rewiring your subconscious, seeing these posts and their feeds with the ideas that will help shape your reality over time of exposure. It reflected to me where I fall short in my mind; habits, ideas, thoughts and beliefs that keep me stuck in a narrow-minded comfortable place. This has been a theme as of late, really, where my work in my own personal development has me catching these thoughts and trying to understand them in a way that helps me transcend my attachments to it.  So the accumulation of my own work and how reality is manifesting in front of me, which reflects what I need to overcome within myself, is providing me an excellent opportunity in keeping strong with the growth-minded approach in life. Honouring it's importance is also key. It's easy to get stuck in a victim-mindset because it may not even present itself in a way that literally has you saying or feeling, "boo-hoo, woe is me!", but as insidious as preventing you from doing things that are best for you to align you with your potentiality, which can be confused as a gut feeling, or intuition. It can be hard to differentiate the two as they can feel similar. I think one way I've been able to break though these barriers is that when I find myself in a moment where I can't do the thing I want to do to align myself to my potential, like for example- being in chronic pain preventing me from joining a BJJ class that I really want to go to- instead of giving up on exercise as a whole and becoming depressed about the pain that is constantly throbbing and aching acutely in my back which also affects my capacity to breath, I can ask myself, "What can my body allow me to do with it's current limitations?" It's frustrating living with a firey passion for life and activity and feeling stuck in your body, in your financial limitations, in your brain fog and negative mental states. But what is that feeling of frustration if not an ego trip? An ego trip looking for excuses to feel bad for yourself or get unrighteously angry because you are impatient. You can ultimately learn to channel those motivations in anything you do. You just need to check your expectations and be realisitic with where you are at.

Some days I like to have my therapy appointments back to back so I schedule my chiro and then my psychotherapist and it works out well because they are in the same proximity. Some modalities compliment eachother before or after. Interestingly enough I had the experience where both came to the same, if not simliar conclusions of where my mind was at in regards to healing my mysterious on and off pain in my back and my mental and spiritual connection/communication to my body. I came into both sessions in a mental state of, "What do I keep doing that keeps putting me in this situation, and how can I stop this pain?" Both of them shared the general insight of, "Sometimes it's not what you do wrongly to trigger the pain/disconnect, but that pain can rise to the surface to bring you into awareness of where you are at and what you need so it can be cleared. You ARE doing the work to deal with this and it is aligned in your healing process." I couldn't deny this wisdom from both of them because i knew it was true to the deepest part of my core, and that I had just been stuck in my punishing mental traps.

The truth is a lot of the people I look to for inspiration and mentorship have started in hell. They all go through similar or worse things, whether in the beginning or still are constantly in a battle with pain mentally, spiritually and physically. The only difference is that the shining star they are constantly aiming for is that growth-minded consciousness; purpose, faith, creation, truth, wisdom, beauty, & love. Humility, reverance and sacred-union. The list can go on, as you can, as these people do when you hold those standards of belief and living at the top of your consciousness. It can help you during the darkest of times, deepest of pains even when it's light is merely a a faint glimmer at the corner of your eye. Holding that in your heart you may find yourself in constant transformation and before you know it you're in that place of potential, coming up with larger and more purposeful goals to achieve that you didn't even think about before. It's an interesting paradox I think about often, that when you are focused on trying to get point A (starting point) to point B (destination), you will have the most difficult time getting there or you may not get there at all. But when you focus on what is infront of you calling you to be present in your journey, which is letting go of the desire of outcome, you will find yourself living exactly in the manner you dreamed of.

Be mindful when you notice yourself caught up in the trap of instant satisfaction in needing to achieve your goals in that moment without the slow and steady pace of building the foundation. Understand that there is a delicate process that requires mastery of the small steps leading up to this potentiality. Insert one of my favorite cheesy/generic quotes, "it is the journey not the destination that matters", haha. It is what makes your growth and progress sustainable.

Art-The White Rose by Gustav Dore